Tag Archives: negotiation

How to Negotiate With Yourself

21 December 2012, by A. Cedilla

Negotiating starts when two parties, each with their own interests and goals, start talking.

You and your team, looking over at the other side of the table to see the Other Guys, each side with its own agenda, trying to hammer out an agreement or reach a point of compromise. You gives, you gets, dig?

Today we’re taking a different approach in that we’ll talk about how we negotiate with ourselves.

It’s just a part of how we’re wired: there must have been many occasions where you were of two minds about a particular issue — most probably when trying to act decisively, yes?

You start off by making a list of pros and cons, assigning certain weights to certain factors, maybe talking it out with a few trusted friends. Usually, you get things done on time, but when it’s something that makes up keep putting it off, how do you motivate yourself?

In a classic negotiation, both parties start off with three things:

  • A clear vision of what they want – when you know what you can’t accept, what you must have, and what you are prepared to do, it gives you a firm ground on which to make your presentation and arguments.
  • A clear picture of the situation – you need assess whether these things on your list are available, what the atmosphere is in the place of discussion, and the attitudes of the people involved so you can adjust your approach to fit.
  • A clear goal to resolve for the day – Target the middle ground where you can meet.

Know your enemy — on both sides of the table. It’s not just the other team you have to consider: how do you sabotage yourself when it comes to being under pressure, or acting in delicate or prolonged negotiations, and how do you avoid doing it?

How do you fall most often when it comes to seeing a difficult course of action to its conclusion?

You can be your own worst enemy in this way: Even in knowing all our sore spots and weak areas, we can still undermine and sell ourselves short.

I mean, we can break deals with ourselves everyday, whittling our strength down to sand with each deal we keep putting off or fail to keep.

Any strong position to negotiate starts with the following: Continue reading How to Negotiate With Yourself