24 April 2012, by A. Cedilla
You want this.
You want that.
You want, waant, waaant.
What are you doing about it?
We want. In the back of our heads, even if we rarely truly pay attention, we’re always on the alert for the next shiny, the next new thing that catches our eye. Something new comes up — a bit of hot news, the next-gen incarnation of your fave whatever, the latest widget — we come closer. We dream of what we can do with it. We eye, examine, fondle. If we like it, we spin madly glittery tales about what we can do with it.
And we covet.
Human beings are built to have an ever-present need for stimulation, but it takes experience, training and a little bit of heartbreak –okay, more than a little bit — to get past all the bright and shinies distracting us and focus on going after what we really want and need.
Say you want things to be better in your life. Something along the lines of “My life will definitely be easier if-when I ______.” That time isn’t now, or even next week, (next month?) so…
What are you doing in the meantime?
- You want change to happen but you’re nervous about what it will mean, and how much it will cost.
- Big change breaks down into incremental (read: small) changes carried out in consistent actions.
Fears can prove themselves true or not with the passage of time, but you shouldn’t let fear stop you. Fear is an internal mind-game. If you let fear override you, it chips at your agency.
Examine your life and look at the decisions you’ve made, the actions you’ve taken. Do you see any trends? Are you just filling in your “in the meantime” or are you making your time count until you realize your desires?
What are these small steps you can take each day to make a difference?
Perhaps it’s just pulling away from all the soda. Or cutting down on the TV. Maybe it’s taking the stairs instead of the elevator, for two floors, just to start. Maybe it’s taking a deep breath instead of snapping back when your parent/significant other/sibling/friend opens their mouth about your ‘issues’.
Maybe it’s cutting loose a partner who’s no longer helping you progress…or just adding three more customer follow-ups than you feel you can answer each day. It’s up to you to take a good long look at your life and examine what needs shaking up.
How will sabotage yourself ?
You know you do this. You know you do. Whether you choose to be aware of them or not, you have ruts that are comfortable for you. You can give pressing reasons, quick excuses, easy rationalizations as to why you can’t, you shouldn’t, you could just do it later….you know your tricks. And knowing is half the battle. The second half is trying to make sure that you do what you can to strengthen yourself, not weaken your resolve.
Which leads into the next question: how can you STOP sabotaging yourself?
With awareness, forgiveness and determination, basically.
We usually realize we’ve done something wrong or off only after we’ve done it. Then comes the recriminations and a brief dip in self-confidence. We have to be able to forgive ourselves when we screw up, and not think that, oh noes, it’s for-EVER. As an appropriate Japanese saying suggests, “Fall down seven, get up eight.”
Here’s a list of questions to get you thinking about how clear the way for you to go after what you want.
- What are your targets? – How realistic and attainable are they. Who will you be with them? Without them?
- What are your time-lines? How realistic are they? Do you have lee-way built in?
- What are your resources? How solid are they?
- What are your pitfalls, weak spots and vulnerabilities (Be honest now.)?
- How do you can you will you keep your goal in front of you?
- How will you track your progress?
- Who and where is your support when you run into trouble?
- What is your fall-back strategy? What is your exit strategy? What are you alternate routes to get to your goals?
- How will you know if you’ve reached a milestone, a way point? What are the signals?
- How will you celebrate this? And who will celebrate you and with you?
Nobody functions or lives in a vacuum. Look around you: who can help you? Where can you get help?
‘In the meantime’ is your life as it’s happening. ‘In the meantime’ is NOW. It’s today.
We build our futures by our present actions, but when you put things off ‘in the meantime’ and indulge only in wanting, you don’t change anything, and what you want can’t happen — you’ve made no place for it to happen. The more you work at it, the better the likelihood of it happening because of you, and for you.
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